love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
