Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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