I'm jealous of your bromance
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
