I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
