i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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