haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
