you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
