whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
