Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
