Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
