Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We are two peas in an std pod
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
