This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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