apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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