I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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