I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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