I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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