for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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