I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
