I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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