We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
