I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
