Buhtt sex?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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