It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
