Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
