i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
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