Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
