Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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