HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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