She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
