yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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