She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
