I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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