on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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