So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
