At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
