So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
