Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
my liver is dry heaving
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
