So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
