I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
