Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
