..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
only if we run a train.
done.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
