thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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