I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
