I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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