Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I believe in your delicious
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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