Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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