I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Quick, to the slutcave!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
