Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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