I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
