Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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