.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize