when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
