The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
