My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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