I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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