Fine. I'll sleep in my office
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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