3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
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He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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