You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
