Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
