I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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