Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
