i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
