I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
