i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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