Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
