i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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