do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I need moral support for this bender
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
