thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
