do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize