Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
